Thought of the day...

I haven't been able to sleep well the last few days. I have been having nightmares actually. There has been a lot in my mind lately, none of which I can really discuss at this time, but trust that my mind is full of worries and my heart filled with blind hope that everything is going to be okay. I close my eyes, and I worry. I drive, and I worry. I work, and I worry. I eat and I worry. I rest, and yet I worry. My mind wanders all the time, filled with unexpectant worries that wouldn't leave me or my thoughts alone.

Why do we always worry so much? I guess, it all depends on how you approach life and the challenges it brings you. I am a pessimist by nature. I expect the worst, prepare for the worst, and I am armed for the worst - the pessimistic attitude helps me cope in the worst of circumstances. Growing up, people and circumstances have always disappointed me, and so I learned to cope by expecting the worst.

I work hard in trying to control what I can. The things I have control over - I do well in. However, there are things, many things I can't control. They are out of my hands...and for those things, I leave it nervously to faith. I calm myself, and reassure my nerves, that there's a reason, reason for everything. Please let there be a reason for everything.